One of the reasons I came to Thailand was to take a deep dive into how to shift my career from corporate trainer into something more meaningful.
That’s why I’ve been studying hypnotherapy. I see it as a powerful tool that can help people move through deep-seated traumas, get better sleep, reduce stress, and much more. But, the idea of being my own boss has brought up a lot of fears.
I struggle with being self-motivated. My corporate career has been mostly “reactive”; I’ve always worked for someone else who sets the goals and I simply implement. There’s always been someone “telling me what to do” or at least providing the overall direction. Being my own boss brings up fear of failure and feelings of inadequacy, so every time I come close to diving in, I get scared and go back to what’s familiar.
Here's proof that I am a failure!
I had a taste of being my own boss when I had my art studio, but it was never financially successful. I have proven to myself that I am unable to be a successful entrepreneur! See, I told you...I’m a big fat failure at being a business owner.
So, I keep going back to my comfort zone. Sometimes, going back to the corporate world is a blast, like when I worked at Google for two years. Other times, it’s not so much fun, like my last assignment, where I sat in front of a computer for 6 hours a day. No thanks!
Now, I am more motivated than ever to move past my fears, and have another go at being my own boss. But this time, unlike the art studio, I have a community of other practitioners who are super motivated and determined to make this work.
In the spirit of being held accountable for my actions, I’m going to share my intention for how this might look:
By the end of 2020, I will be part of a holistic healing center with other practitioners offering hypnotherapy, Reike, sound healing, past-life regression, Yoga Nidra, sensuality/ tantra sessions, and more.
UPDATE: June, 2020
The world has changed, and so have I. I decided NOT to focus on hypnotherapy after all. I landed a SWEET project with Esalen Institute, am taking a deep dive into silk painting, and plan to travel to scuba diving destinations, as soon as Covid restrictions are lifted. I'm in the FLOW!
I need to be patient with myself!
I spent four years as an undergrad in business school, and 2 more years to get my masters in Organization Development...that education provided a solid foundation for a successful career as a corporate trainer..so now, as I move towards something new, I need to keep reminding myself that it’s going to take time to build these new skills, like it did with my last career. The important thing is I am doing something that I feel passionate about.
So, I’m going to stop beating myself up for feeling a little unsettled (and terrified) as I move through this transformation in my life.
I came across some info on commitment and determination, to help me stay focused.
- Once you’re committed to something, your mind becomes like a homing beacon. There are no more choices to be made, just a focus on the target in front of your eyes—smooth sailing.
- Commitment allows us to fulfill our most basic needs and achieve our most sought after dreams. It gives us purpose.
- “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” ― Albert Einstein
- Your goal needs to be so great that it feeds and ignites your soul with purpose and meaning. You embody the goal in every cell of your being so that you become inspired to attain it as opposed to motivated.
- Determination is the power and will to persist. Drive, grit, go the distance. Hell-bent on reaching a goal no matter what.
- Successful people believe in themselves. They’ve developed an inner resolve — an inner dialogue that continually feeds them with successful images, thoughts and beliefs. These inner dialogues have the power to cancel out any external misgivings that arise in the pursuit of their goal.
- Successful people are adaptable and know what they want. They’re open and receptive to allowing life to show them the HOWS.
What are you committed to in your life?